Curriculum Vitae

Since getting the gooner. I have applied for 12 jobs in about 3 weeks, I live in a part of the country that does not have that many vacancies. Out of those jobs, all but one wanted me to fill in an application form. Even though you have to apply online, they do no have the competence to reply and let you know that you have not been successful. I would understand if they had to write a letter, put a stamp on it and take it to the post box. Lazy and rude.

The one interview came from my CV.

I have one application form that has a four competency section for a part-time job paying bugger all. The thing I find very disappointing is that I like to work and give it my all. But I am spending hours filling in forms for no return.

Job Centre

Got in there quick need Jobseekers at £64 per week. Interviewed by the same woman from 2007. She was all over me as she remembered me. You are in Marketing, says she, I don't need to tell you how to look for a job!!

Back for first session, the guy behind the desk says it will be quick today. Sign your declaration. I was there 10 seconds tops.

Back with him today, 2 weeks later same dialogue. 8 seconds this time.

There was loads of people in Heroin House, as it is know locally, but there was more staff. They need a kick up the arse really and some style tips too. Who told girls that fleeces are attractive?

Happy New Year

Got back to the UK at midnight of 30/31 December. Only took one hour to get through baggage reclaim at Gatwick. Go Gatwick.

Back to work on 4 January, looking forward to that chat with the boss and speculating what the promised pay rise would be.

The office had been scoured within an inch of its life, boss's wife even had her roots done (not very well, they use the local salon). His highlights are dodgy too. What is going on?

Redundancy. Minimum payment. Please work your notice. No chance. Job centre here I come.

What a great Xmas

Well well well. I had a great Xmas. Two weeks in Gran Canaria. Weather nice and warm 20 degrees C. Stayed in a place called Balito Beach. No beach at Balito, but lots of water from the mountains, the rain in Spain came down to the Canaries. Me and the old man and a large group of people from Norway. . .

. . . Norway I think fjords, the Nobel prize. Not a smiley crowd and they like to sing long and loud especially after a few bevvies. They also like breakfast and Elvis. Oh yes, tattoos and the ladies look like yer woman from Abba (her mother was from Norway).

I would thoroughly recommend being abroad at Xmas.

This year I think we will stay to new year, normally, I am in bed by 10 on 31 Dec, but this year will stay to watch the fireworks.

Where were you conceived?

I read in a book recently that the difference between northern europeans and southern europeans is that most of the former were conceived in the dark. Those near the Mediterranean, who had the advantage of a siesta sometimes indulged in an afternoon of love and hi presto.

Then I saw a television feature on the great London smog of December 1952, the city was in complete darkness because of all the coal fires and industry belching out sulphur and other delightful emissions and it trapped under cloud cover. For 5 days the city was paralysed and you could not see your hand in front of your face. Thousands died.

Guess who was born 9 months later. Whoopee doo

New party game. Where were you conceived?